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Saturday, August 12

sandra lee is out of control

I didn't mean to return this quickly, fair readers, to miss sandra lee. However, today's episode compelled me so.

sandra was out cooking on the beach once again. I think she made some food. Made a cocktail. And talked about a tablescape. I wasn't really able to pay attention, though, for two reasons:


Sandra's boobs were all over the place this morning! Okay, yes, her shirts typically are tight, but that's usually balanced out by a darling niece or nephew lurking in her kitchen, forcing ole' sandra to cover up a bit. I guess she loves to let it all hang loose when she hits the beach!

Are those things store bought or semi-homemade, Sandra? Jeez! There are children on that beach.

Sandra managed to whip up some sort of cocktail, obviously ignoring warnings(not to mention laws) against drinking on public beaches.

Tablescape time! Can't seem to avert my eyes, though.

I guess since I am part of the target audience the food network is looking for (males, age 18-34), I should be loving this vixen-like "Aunt Sandy." Those food network execs. might have gotten it a bit wrong, though:-)

Labels:

 

52 Comments:

At 8/12/2006 11:38 PM , Blogger amanda said...

HOLY CRAP! HOLY, HOLY CRAP!

I'm not even a lesbian, and I can't avert my eyes.

That's really all I can manage to say.

 
At 8/14/2006 12:34 AM , Anonymous Food fan said...

I too was watching the train wreck of her cleavage wondering what she was thinking. Did you catch the episode where she added vodka to root beer floats at a kid's little league game? That's class.

 
At 8/14/2006 1:08 AM , Blogger Emily said...

She's does have a pretty nice looking rack though.

 
At 8/14/2006 8:38 AM , Blogger jrs said...

In response to emily's comment, yes, it is nice... but I watch Girls Next Door if I want to see that (I hate Kendra).

In response to Food Fan's, NO I have not seen that episode! It sounds great, though. I don't make it a point to watch Sandra, but I'll be on the lookout for that one. Thanks for reading!

 
At 8/20/2006 10:29 AM , Anonymous Jenny V. said...

Okay, so I just stumbled onto this blog, and I am hooked. I wiping the tears away as I type this because I am laughing so hard. This is because I HATE Sandra Lee and her show more than all the others on Food TV. I always thought she missed her calling in 70's porn. I don't know who dresses her and does her hair for these shows but HOLY MOLY this one takes the cake. She looks like Raggedy Ann gone BAD! She opens a box of cake mix from the store, and all you are really thinking is she needs to be bent over one of her "tablescapes" with someone behind her who looks like the Marlborough Man giving her the business. I can tell you I would enjoy her show soooo much more that way. At least it would make more sense to me: watching her cook would be the set-up to watching her get her freak on. She would certainly get higher ratings that way.
P.S. These breasts have got to be fake. Got to be! She is too skinny to be so natually blessed.

 
At 8/21/2006 3:34 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jenny V.,
I agree that normally, skinny chicks don't have big knockers, but hers are real. I'm the self-proclaimed "Knocker Police". These are far too saggy to be fake ones. Sometimes she wears turtlenecks (yipe), and they seem to just pull her funbags down to her waist. Yes, it's as frightening as it sounds...Besides all that, I also despise her show. "Put the 'melk' IN-tsoo the bowl, then add some 'quick water' to the mixture. It's 'fintastic'. Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to add the 'strawburries'. NOW! I want you 'tsoo' add a dollop of 'whipped topping' AKA 'heart disease in a pretty, white puff' AKA 'Cool Whip'. This is gunna be so 'wunnerful'." She should hock her hoard of KitchenAid mixers and buy a diction coach. Also, the tablescapes are so idiotic and frivolous. I wouldn't want to make anything from scratch, either, if I already put all my time, energy, and money into decorating the table. The outfits matching the "food" and tablescapes is another thing that is so unrealistic and stupid. The obsession with Cool Whip, piping things onto the food with a ziploc bag, the wastefulness, i.e. taking a tiny cookie cutter shape out of a sandwich and tossing the rest of the sandwich away, the alcoholic drink segment of each episode, as if that must be part of EVERY meal....it's all just shameful. The WORST episode I ever saw was the one where she talked about her grandma "Dicey", who was obviously a Southern belle and a complete lush. Sandra's attempt at a Southern accent at the end was SO embarrassing! I'd be writing to Food Network, campaigning for the cancellation of this show, but I'd miss having Semi-Homemade around to make fun of! It's just so chock full of 'wunnerful' snarkiness!!!

 
At 8/21/2006 11:27 AM , Blogger jrs said...

thanks for visiting, jenny v. I agree-- sandra's show has a lot to keep me entertained. I hope she sticks around for a few more cocktails.

 
At 8/21/2006 1:46 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you saw her "carnival foods" ep, you'd know exactly how this twit got this show.

 
At 8/21/2006 2:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Food, booze and boobs.

What's not to like?

 
At 8/21/2006 3:56 PM , Blogger The Stepfather of Soul said...

I found your blog via a post you did on TVGasm and hoooo boy you are too funny :) My wife and I watch this show often and if we had've seen that one we would've been cracking up at the "cleverage," as my mom-in-law calls it.

 
At 8/22/2006 8:58 AM , Blogger jrs said...

glad you enjoyed the post, soul!

 
At 9/03/2006 4:15 PM , Blogger Joey said...

Oh look, it's Sandra and her cans!

 
At 9/23/2006 7:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

would love to bury my face in those

 
At 1/21/2007 1:41 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

women...don't be jealous or critical of her because she is more beautiful than you, and/or more famous...I'm sorry. but that is the way it is and being super critical isn't going to change anything and its pathetic that it makes you feel better. I know her food doesn't ever look appetizing and her tablescapes are lame, but you are criticizing her because you are jealous and it makes you look pathetic, so don't.

 
At 1/29/2007 5:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, it's now January 29th and she's doing the "Casino Night" episode. She just made a chicken pizza and then put caesar salad on top of the pizza! Who the hell pours a salad on top of a pizza? She actually said it looked beautiful!!!!! I truly think her boobs must be leaking silcon into her bloodstream and affecting her brain cells (at least the little cells that she has up there). Jeeeeez How do we get her off of the food network???????????????

 
At 1/29/2007 8:47 PM , Anonymous in awe said...

I am so relieved to find that there are others out there who are in awe of Sandra Lee. How DID she get a show on the FN? Any history on this? Who is she sleeping with?

 
At 2/11/2007 11:46 PM , Anonymous Andrea said...

She is hot. I'm putting this in my favorites.

 
At 2/11/2007 11:47 PM , Anonymous Andrea said...

She is hot. I'm putting this in my favorites.

 
At 2/20/2007 6:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

These have been there all along, she just finally put on a bra. If someone can get her to quit using the word "pop" now. I am so sick of her "popping everything IN-to a bowl" She "popped" the dishes IN-to the sink the other day.

 
At 3/27/2007 9:04 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol. she is so dumb. I hated that episode where her husband called and she answered to phone saying something dumb like ... when the hubby calls...

 
At 5/17/2007 2:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sandra Lee is a loser. Gee, I could go to the store, buy canned crap and be just like her. Why does she have a show?

 
At 5/23/2007 7:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Food Network should rename her show Semi-Soft Porn

 
At 6/19/2007 6:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have someone who can irritate you more than Sandra. His name is G Garvin and he is on TV one. His shows are horrible and his use of the English Language is worse. Check it out.

 
At 7/04/2007 3:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This beach episode is airing again right now. WOWSERS!!! Looking at her luscious cans I couldn't help but to do a search on her boobs and found this blog. For the record I am sure they are real. They're too jiggly soft and hang too low to be fake!

 
At 8/12/2007 4:24 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I masturbate my cock to her all the time. She is hot.

 
At 8/13/2007 4:05 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have a vodka root beer float then Hershey's syrup on a Twinkie seams like real food - that's what I learned.

 
At 8/14/2007 11:02 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I hate the most is when she refers to herself as "Aunt Sandy" and her nephew "Brycer" and sister "Kimber", eeewwww, cringe and gross! My husband thinks that she must be juiced up with alcohol all the time because no one can be that pathetic and act so childlike. The tablescapes and backdrops are sickening and her clothes to match, how gay!

 
At 8/22/2007 11:15 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

She can cook for me anytime!!! What's for dessert?

 
At 8/30/2007 9:18 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sandra is one hot mama

 
At 9/06/2007 7:14 PM , Blogger socalgrl said...

What KILLS me is those damn tablescapes!!! As if we don't already have enough trash and pollution in this world, this crazy drunk matches her whole entire kitchen with her tablescape for EVERY episode! What happens to all that junk she buys? Hmmm???

 
At 9/24/2007 5:58 PM , Anonymous Liz said...

Here I was this whole time, a closeted Sandra Lee hater. She seems like someone everyone would love, but I can't stand this b****! Who the F*** makes tablescapes? That whole concept makes me want to buy a chainsaw and cut my table in half. She is fake, ditzy and her recipes are total ripoffs. I watch her show in hopes that she will OD on the "COCK-tails" and fall face first into her f-ing tablescape.

 
At 10/05/2007 1:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a bunch of F-ing PRUDES. The broads are jealous and they guys are gay.

 
At 10/07/2007 1:50 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

All I can do is grin at the comments on this page. I have long abhored Miss Lee since I first heard her yammering on about her "girlfriends" and "Hey gang! It's COCKTAIL time!!!111oneoneone". I've been addicted to the Food Network for years, and I really haven't seen anyone who annoyed me nearly as much as Sandra Lee. She's up there with Nancy Grace for me when it comes to the disdain-inducing television harpees. They're doing a Food Network Stars "unwrapped" thing on the telly at the moment, and just mentioned her 'cooking chops' which made me laugh, literally, out loud.
Sure, the fact that she is the picture of the archetypal drunken soccer mom, who tries to dress so's to fit in with her teenage daughter's friends makes me plenty disgusted. But that's not the worst of it. It's sad, but it's not the worst.
The worst part of it all is, SHE CAN'T COOK! Seriously. I once saw her do a 'Grill-out' show where she boasted about her "amazing" BBQ sauce. She made it by--*gasp*--adding honey to a bottle of BBQ sauce. Holy freakin' s**t! No one has ever thought of that before! I mean, that must be why you can't find 'honey barbeque sauce' made by just about every brand out there, right?
Why haven't they sacked her yet? I'm honestly baffled. Give me more Alton, Giada, Tyler, Nigella (where'd she go to, anyway?)...even more Rachel Ray (whose mannerisms seriously bother the hell out of me, but at least she knows a thing or two about food)...anyone but Sandra Barfly Lee.

 
At 10/21/2007 1:17 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jealous wenchs - no way they're fake. Haven't you ever seen her stir anything?

Giada's gorgeous too, but that thing she does with her teeth scares me.

Sandra's coming on right now; she's wearing my favorite thin white skin-tight lowcut blouse, & today's recipes look like they'll involve a lot of hand whisking.

Rachel Rae is cute as a button too, but too perky....she doesn't 'sway' me, if ya know what I mean.

Oops - gotta go....Sandi's breaking eggs.

I'll repent later. Maybe.

~Jack Handy

 
At 10/24/2007 5:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha i watch the show just to make fun of her...my family calls her cupcake lol

 
At 10/27/2007 12:31 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love Sandra Lee. When you combine cleavage with great cooking, is there better TV then that? Placing her and Giada's shows back to back is a brilliant move. That's mellow TV. A dash of sexuality, charm and beauty makes the Food network #1 in my book. Sandra's Halloween episode is now my favorite 30 minutes in Food Network history. I have to admit, I was turned on by the costumes and I was titillated by the food. GREAT STUFF!

 
At 11/07/2007 4:57 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

While she does piss me off by always saying everything is "perfect" (while nothing ever is), I still can't think of a face I'd rather drain my balls all over. Degrading someone that considers themselves and the things they make to be perfect is a life long goal of mine. It would be "perfect".

 
At 11/18/2007 5:04 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I have someone who can irritate you more than Sandra. His name is G Garvin and he is on TV one. His shows are horrible and his use of the English Language is worse. Check it out.

**HEY ANONYMOUS***
watch what the hell you say about G GARVIN, he is great at what he does. I LOVE the fact that there is finally some COLOR represented in the cooking world. Better than the Italian Cooking Food Network

 
At 12/06/2007 8:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you have some time to kill you ought to look at earlier photos of Sandra Lee and compare them to current photos. The boobs are not real. Why anyone would have fake ones that hang so low is beyond me. There also seems to be photographic evidence of extensive plastic surgery.

 
At 12/15/2007 1:22 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sandra better thank whoever invented the push-up bra. Those boobs SAG to the floor on a normal day.

 
At 12/25/2007 1:26 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beach, booze and a beautiful blonde with Boobs -- Merry Christmas Sandra, you've made my day!

 
At 1/14/2008 3:24 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hold on---she hosts a COOKING show? All this time I thought I was watching a "MILFS Gone Wild" infomercial...

 
At 7/06/2008 1:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Uh, they are NOT real. Even fake ones eventually sag, because HELLO, the skin holding them gives. I should know.

 
At 10/06/2008 4:35 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd do her.

Kenneth Mark Hoover
Allen, TX

 
At 6/25/2009 1:12 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would soooo bone her!!!

 
At 7/04/2009 6:47 PM , Blogger MoreGruelPlease said...

I don't get all the Sandra Lee haters in the world.

Can we not overthink this? It's a hot chick with booze and food.

 
At 2/23/2010 12:42 PM , Anonymous ffej said...

would love to bang her

 
At 6/26/2010 5:37 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

SAndra Lee could sit on my face anytime. I would love to tickle her inside as she sat onn my face. the woman is beautyful. i'd lick her anywhere at anytime. would love to tickle her inside for an hour or two.

 
At 9/25/2010 9:53 AM , Anonymous Sprmcandy said...

Pretty lady, sweet eye candy. yum yum

 
At 10/20/2010 2:39 PM , Blogger TheIcelands said...

OMG I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! Can we seriously start a petition to get her off the air? All of her recipes are HORRIBLE and terribly wasteful! Which is the exact attitude we need to destroy these days. She has no talent, I don't know what food network is thinking giving her so many seasons, I'd of canned her after the freaking kwanzaa cake recipe at least, if not waaaay before. God I hate her so much, who did she sleep with to get this show? Maybe fn has a really suburban dumb housewife demographic, because otherwise I don't get how they haven't realized that she needs to GO!

 
At 10/20/2010 2:41 PM , Blogger TheIcelands said...

OMG I HATE HER SO MUCH!!!! Can we seriously start a petition to get her off the air? All of her recipes are HORRIBLE and terribly wasteful! Which is the exact attitude we need to destroy these days. She has no talent, I don't know what food network is thinking giving her so many seasons, I'd of canned her after the freaking kwanzaa cake recipe at least, if not waaaay before. God I hate her so much, who did she sleep with to get this show? Maybe fn has a really suburban dumb housewife demographic, because otherwise I don't get how they haven't realized that she needs to GO!

 
At 11/16/2010 1:42 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sandra Lee is freaking SMOKIN' HOT! I think this "heard" of haters should go back to their grazing instead of mouthing off about about this playmate!

 

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