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Monday, March 26

Sandra Lee Chefography

I finally caught Sandra Lee's Chefography this weekend and--let me just say this--Sandy never disappoints.

As most of these specials go, Sandra Lee takes us through:

such as her financially successful craft and home-based business, her (eventually) successful cook books and TV show, and her involvement in various charity and philanthropic organizations.

And she takes us back to:

yikes! Sandy's teenage parents divorced and she was forced to move about between her grandmother and birth father as she grew up-- eventually taking on parental duties for her siblings at age 11.

Sandra was heavily influenced by her grandmothers who taught her about cooking, baking, decorating and fashion (she described each one as "fabulous" during different times of the interview).

After a stint at college in Wisconsin, Sandy moved back to LA and immediately thought: Hey, I need some window treatments.

I'm sure that's the first thing starving actors think of when they move to LA. As I showed you before, the system worked well and Sandy's uncle "knew a welder" who decided to jerry-rig some up for her so she could take them down to the LA County Fair (another event I'm sure people immediately think of when LA is mentioned... county fairs).

Blah, blah... one thing led to another and they were well-received. Ladies desperate to hang sheets on their windows lined up for miles to buy them. Sandra was ready to sell her invention to Wal-Mart and be done with it, right?!

Wrong. No retailer would purchase the coat hanger system. It was unproven. That made Sandra sad.

She may not look all that sad there, but she was. Imagine if "Semi-homemade" was in black & white! How would she coordinate!?! Anyhow, I'm off-topic. Back to her invention.

Sandy decided the next best thing would be an infomercial. She professionally pined-after (read: stalked endlessly) her idol Florence Henderson to serve as host. Only thing was, Flo wasn't having it.

Somehow Florence came to her senses and realized that if she could peddle denture adhesive, she was pretty much game for anything. She did the infomercial, dubbed KURTAIN KRAFT.

Now, I don't think it's ever mentioned why she chose to use a "K" for all the "C" words, but I've learned not to question Aunt Sandy's reasoning--especially after downing a few of her cocktails.

The infomercial--which cost something like $50 thousand of her "own money"--was a "complete success."

As you can see..

Just take it all in. Take it ALL in.

For real, take another look.

Look at how comfy Flo is sitting on that window bench--legs pressed together so tightly that Mike Brady woulda never...um, never mind...Sandy's hand resting so delicately upon her thigh. It just conveys a sense of... KRAZINESS.

Ahh! I gotta stop looking. Anyhow, this infomercial led Sandra into the idea that she could host a "lifestyle and garden show" called Simply Living.

This was also her chance to show off a fancy new look:

Close? There were some other Celine shots throughout the Chefography, but this one took the whipped topping-topped cake.

Anyhow, this idea tanked. Food Network ended up offering her a show that allowed her to incorporate "some of her decorating ideas" as long as she cooked. Well, by this time she'd already taken a 2-week course spent some time training at Le Cordon Bleu in Ottawa, Canada and was ready for the challenge.

Overall, the special was fun and entertaining. I know people are complaining about how she leaves out "the wallet" ex-husband of hers, but that would have brought down the entire show. She'd have had to drink to a few extra cosmotinis to get through all that.

And that is something I wasn't ready to see.

PS- I should mention that Sandra Lee mentors and gives to the Project Angel Food fund. While both are worthy causes, they don't really fit in with a comical review. Hope you all can forgive me:-)




At 3/26/2007 3:38 PM , Anonymous Harry Martin said...

Thanks for the fab-o rekap! I have yet to see it, but heard the grumbling about "the wallet." The photos from the infomercial are priceless! My goodness, it looks like Little Bo Peep blew up in the room! Kudos all the way 'round.

At 3/26/2007 6:27 PM , Blogger Jennifer said...

Loved it! LOL!! I'm not too Krazy about the Kurtain Krafter thingamahbobber myself.

Oh and that Celine Dion hairstyle, was that 1997 or what? LOL!!!

At 3/26/2007 8:46 PM , Blogger Luna said...

Yes, great recap! I'm still laughing at Aunt Sandy as Cher!

At 3/26/2007 9:44 PM , Blogger jacob said...

Thank you; thank you; thank you.

At 3/26/2007 10:08 PM , Blogger Jim said...

Let's all have a toast to that buxom maven of the tablescape. To Sandy... cheers!!!

At 3/27/2007 3:12 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Iam just a food purist according to Aunt Sandy. To find fault with her cooking is to find fault in all women in this country who are just working to get a special meal on the table.Lady I am a Texan mom getting it on table. Alot cheaper and alot healthier.

At 3/27/2007 10:18 AM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

"she'd already taken a 2-week course at Le Cordon Bleu in Ottawa, Canada "

. . .which she left on the second day, because she thought she could make better food with Bisquick.

And I heart the anonymous commenter right above me. Cheers to you, Texas mom!

At 3/27/2007 10:50 AM , Blogger jacob said...

You're right, Jordan. They weren't very clear about just how long she stayed for that laborious, 2-week course. Was it really on the 2nd day?

At 3/27/2007 4:15 PM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

Depending on which of her versions of the story you believe, it was either the second or third day, and she was either scraping veal tendons, scraping beef tendons, or cutting vegetables for boulliabase.

The booze, it has hurt her memory.

At 3/28/2007 7:57 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was hi-snortin'-larious! I lurved the evolution of the teeth (from snaggly to perfectly veneered). Only: did you manage to catch just how much Sandypants had grown? Boobage-wise, that is. I guess the take-home message from this Chefography is that if you have a choice between 1) learning how to cook, or 2) growing breastesses, it's always, always better to go with 2).

At 3/29/2007 1:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sandypants needs to concentrate on the cooking and lose the schmaltz!

At 3/28/2009 10:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

How old is this post? I only see times?


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