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Thursday, August 9

Hot Food Network Ladies

Madeline of Everything Rachael Ray and Edible TV recently posted about a Stuff magazine article called "The Hottest Women of Food Network." How did I miss this?!?!

Katherine McPhee is featured on the cover, but I think our own Rachael Ray could have been a fine substitute.



Rachael, who has "gone from a frumpy chef with questionable taste in pants to a girl with whom we wouldn't mind hitting up the local White Castle" came in 7th, while my girl Ina Garten got 10th (does last place mean she's not hot or that she's just the least hot of the hottest?).



She isn't exactly pinup material, but she's rich, she's a great cook and her best friend is the least sexually threatening man on the face of the earth. She's not ideal for the one-night hook-up, but once her husband dies, we'll be the first ones in line trying to move into her well-furnished mansion in the Hamptons.


One thing that's weird about this Top 10 is the horrible quality of pictures Stuff managed to dig up. True, our fair FN stars aren't followed as routinely as Britney or Angelina, but it shouldn't be that hard to get a clear photo!

Case in point, Robin Miller and her "huge eyes and almost Steven Tyler-like smile":



Blech! "Robin knows just about everything you need to know about food to keep your torso looking like it belongs in the cast of 300."

Ummm... no, she doesn't.

And even worse: " ...after a night with her you'll need a few protein shakes and an ice pack."

Giada De Laurentiis took the top honors.


"...we'd like to publicly call out TV Guide for having the audacity to give Giada's breasts 'Jeers.' If you jerks criticize this fine young woman for showing off her fine olive-colored skin again, we'll totally kick your asses. Or we'll just use one of the other 5 million better methods for finding out what's on TV."

Lots of fun quotes in there about Paula and Ellie, too. Check it out. I should have written that article, though. Need a freelancer, Stuff?

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It's Thursday. Woo hoo. I'll be comin' atcha from a different locale after this week, so sorry for the delay in posting. Thing will be back up to speed shortly. Enjoy this hot, hot day.

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11 Comments:

At 8/09/2007 10:02 AM , Anonymous Gen said...

Um...Okay. Where to start? Ina is No. 10? WTF? Ina should be in at least the top 5. She has a subtle sexuality that we get a glimpse of whenever she cooks for her Jeffery. They've been married forever and there is still a big spark. Robin Miller even making the list is a farce. She's got the body of a 12 year old boy. If she ate a meatball she'd look prego. (I know, I know... that's an old one). Nigella should be No. 1. I am a heterosexual woman but that girl is hot. The way she licks cake batter off of her fingers is sexy. The way she grabs a midnight snack from the fridge at the end of her show is sexy, too. I wonder what kind of bra she wears? I'm rambling now.

Here's my Top Ten.
10. Gale Gand
9. Ingrid Hoffmann
8. Sandra Lee
7. Cat Cora
6. Paula Deen
5. Rachel Ray
4. Ina Garten
3. Ellie Krieger
2. Giada De Laurentiis
1. Nigella Lawson

 
At 8/09/2007 2:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, where is Ingrid on the list Stuff? How could you omit that hot dish? No pun intended;-) I'd put Nigella first. She's a woman among girls. Giada second for her natural boobs alone. Ingrid third for her latino heat vivaciousness.
Ellie fourth. How many women could pull off a short haircut like that and still be sexy? Rachael fifth. She's got a great lower half. The others do nothing for me. Sorry.

 
At 8/09/2007 2:10 PM , Blogger Mansi Desai said...

HI there,

I think Giada's sexiest, but I can't say that about Rachel at all:) neways, I don't think these great chefs who create magic with their hands should be publicized in this way though...

btw, pls feel free to comment on my rachel ray and food network discussion today at http://funnfud.blogspot.com

and I'd like to add u to my blogroll as i'm a FN fan too!! check out my site to see if u find it interesting enuf:)

-Mansi
http://funnfud.blogspot.com

 
At 8/09/2007 4:12 PM , Blogger Jesse said...

I agree that Ina should be higher up on the list...I loves me some Ina! Alas, Stuff got it even more incorrect in regard to her - *I* am first in line to move into her Hamptons mansion (and long before Jeffrey dies...they could adopt me...they never had kids!), and also...*I* am the least sexually threatening man on the face of the earth. Geez, Stuff Magazine, get your journalism correct!! ;)

Also: Robin Miller? I like her somewhat, buttttt... she's not Madonna, not everyone can pull of the tracksuits! I hate to say it (no I don't!), but someone should introduce girlfriend to some baby powder. The glare of the camera on her shiny skin often blinds me!

Additionally: Yup, I agree with the other posters - Nigella deserves to be way up there. That reporter who got in trouble in the UK for calling her a MILF was correct! (Can I call Paula a GILF? Just wondering...) ;-)

 
At 8/09/2007 8:14 PM , Blogger Marc said...

Rachael Ray looks like a raccoon in the first pic. She is not hot whatsoever, and in my opinion, Skeletor, (aka Aunt Sandy) shouldn't even have ranked at all. I want me some GI-AH-DUHHHH so she can make some PARM-IGIANNO-REY-GIANNO with me all night ;)

 
At 8/09/2007 9:30 PM , Blogger jacob said...

gen: i agree that Ina should be moved up, but Cat is a tad hotter than Paula. Have you seen those sexy dress pics? Plus, she's a hot lesbian.

anon: yeah, Ingrid is all right. Ellie does look good with the short hair.

mansi: i think chefs can still be sexy, and this list obviously found out the various ways one can be sexy.

jesse: Ina's much too busy for kids, although a nice adopted child would be a great assistant in her kitchen ("go grab me another pint of heavy cream... the good kind!" )

marc: you want to make cheese with Giada? Is that the new slang? ;-)

 
At 8/10/2007 8:58 AM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

Leaving aside my (well documented) feelings about the rest of 'em, HOW is Cat Cora not higher on this list? She recently joined my list of celebrities I'd switch teams for--she was gorgeous in her NFNS appearance!

 
At 8/10/2007 10:56 AM , Anonymous Jeff said...

I've never seen a picture of Steven Tyler smiling. Come to think of it, I've never seen Robin Miller smiling that broadly. She's attractive, but slight. No matter...as long as she's healthy.

 
At 8/10/2007 11:04 AM , Blogger Marc said...

Well Cat Cora is a lesbian, and mostly males would be reading the list, so I don't think they wanted to make her too high up on the list. No offense, but it's just something I learned in a journalism/media class I took a while ago. They have to appeal to the demographic.

 
At 8/13/2007 8:38 PM , Anonymous AJ said...

Ina hot? Um, she looks like she dunked her hair in olive oil ... and she never changes her clothes.

 
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