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Monday, February 11

Sandra Lee: No Matt Lauer for You!

Aunt Sandy was on the Today show... on Sunday (yesterday) to show off a "Valentine's Day meal in a jiffy!"

I don't know about you, but If I were semi-famous (no play-on-words intended -- she really is only semi-famous) I'd still like to appear on Today when people actually, ummm, watched! Who even watches it on Sunday?

She looked a mess and that white sauce in a can is just inexcusable. I feel bad for the poor man who had to stir that canned glop into heavy cream and pretend it looked appetizing.

And I love how nothing is tasted. They were smart to just cut to commercial. You know what Sandy... if you want to get me something for Valentine's Day, make it a gift certificate to the Olive Garden*, because I don't think I could stomach the menu you prepared here.


Bleh. I'm having a bizzy Monday and this Sandra video isn't helping any.

*Wait a sec... I'd probably get sick off the O.G. too. Make it cash instead, Sandy L.

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At 2/11/2008 4:30 PM , Blogger Marc said...

Cool Whip and jell-o pudding cups are inexcusible.

At 2/11/2008 4:52 PM , Anonymous Alec Smart said...

A couple of thoughts. Do you think Sandra is worthy of a weekday slot ? You would think they would give her a real stove with gas and all. No way. The daytime guys bring out real chefs and people that wouldn't dream of pulling that plop out of a can.

Second,WTF is a flirtini ? Butterscotch schnapps ? Good lord.

I must admit Sandra did look a bit wretched, but I think I would still want to make love to her though. I think there is hope for her still. She will see the light and cross over. You watch her.

At 2/11/2008 4:57 PM , Blogger Kate said...

So what exactly is white sauce??

At 2/11/2008 5:32 PM , Blogger Kathryn said...

Why do these shows keep having her on? She must have a fabulous pr person. I would never, ever make any of her recipes. The bangs aren't working either.

At 2/11/2008 5:58 PM , Anonymous Chris said...

Whoa...she looked rough. Perhaps a morning timeslot was not a good idea.

I love Sandra Lee math:

White Sauce = Cream + White Sauce

Smells like a Kurtain Kraft Valentine's Day!

At 2/11/2008 6:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did she have work done? Maybe on the eyes? I thought she looked barely recognizable. The whole segment was inexcusible, that is why it was on Sunday, so the least amount of people would see it.

At 2/11/2008 10:55 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoa! what happened to her??! if it weren't for her voice & her canned skills, I wouldn't even have recognized her! the bangs aren't very flattering---she's an attractive woman but the bangs & makeup age her quite a bit. as for the recipes, oh bother....

At 2/11/2008 11:40 PM , Anonymous brycer m. said...

Kate: Sadly, I think it's something Alec Smart produces when he watches Semi-Home Made.

At 2/12/2008 12:21 AM , Blogger pianomomsicle said...

Yuck. i'm 5 weeks preggo and that just about put me off my saltines! She also must have done her own makeup that day. Have you noticed how lately almost none of her cooking is homemade? i'm thinking her ratio has gone more to the 95%/5% now. Mixing cream with white sauce is not even semi-homemade. It's just a pathetic excuse.

At 2/12/2008 1:22 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are we talking bechamel or alfredo? I've never heard of a canned white sauce and I find the very thought of it disturbing.

At 2/12/2008 7:44 AM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

Butterscotch schnaaps, vanilla vodka, and pineapple juice?

She should be shot. If anyone tried to make any of this crap for me--for Valentine's day or any other night of the year--I'd punch them in the throat and leave.

At 2/12/2008 9:34 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

There isn't any bad publicity, and Sunday Today is still watched by a lot of people. Probably more than watch her FN show. I doubt that any of the FN show hosts would turn down the opportunity.


At 2/12/2008 10:00 AM , Blogger jacob said...

marc: yeah, that's pretty bad too. I tried not to watch that far.

alec: 1) I don't know if she's worthy... I'm indifferent. If i were the person booking guests and had to find a someone for a cooking segment I'd probably try a few other folks before calling up Sandy. 2) I have no idea. It sounds gross. And I think that's "flirt-a-tini" ;-) 3) I think she's had numerous opportunities to see the light and cross over. Don't think that's gonna happen, but enjoy the love making. Let me know if the lube is canned, too.

kate: Don't question Aunt Sandy's logic. Just buy the can.

kathryn: yeah, i'm not sure. Maybe her sister Cindy is pimping her out?

chris: haha... too bad she didn't have time to Kurtain Kraft up the set a bit.

anon: I'm not sure about the work. Perhaps. This segment doesn't make me think she did, though.

anon: yeah, the cans were the dead giveaway.

brycer m: oh... gross.

pianomomsicle: yeah, the ratio is a bit off these days. I don't even really consider "heavy cream" a fresh ingredient since it really involves no skill to mix it with a can of stuff. she might as well have used a can of condensed milk (which i bet she wanted to do).

anon: yeah, i haven't seen it either. I think it's probably closer to bechamel. She recommends a brand of the canned stuff if you're interested! ;-)

jordan: You mean you wouldn't feel honored to know someone loved you enough to mix cool whip with jello pudding? Who even uses Schnapps these days? 17 year olds?

anon: That's actually true about the ratings. I'd like to see how many people watch her weekend show vs. the Today show. I'm sure you're right.

For the record, I accidentally stumbled upon the segment right as it was happening.

At 2/12/2008 11:16 AM , Anonymous Alec Smart said...

Jake, first thing. My woman don't need lube, that's for sure.

Second, Brycer M. is quite the comedienne uh ?

In defence of Sandy, all she is doing is creating an angle, pitching it and making a TV show out of it. You know, households do exist in the US that actually cook in this manner and not saying I'd line up for a dinner invitation, but these people are just ignorant about how food should be cooked and prepared. Or lazy. You pick.

I mean they could do takeout exclusively, but they too find the cost high, so they try Sandy's way.

I don't think you can even call it Cooking Lite. I think semi homemade is pushing it, but heck at least some of these people are trying. Give em credit.

I think many of us should stop being food snobs and help Sandy out.

At 2/13/2008 3:52 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

jake? why do people keep calling you jake?

At 2/13/2008 5:18 PM , Anonymous mundane said...

brycer m and jacob: outstandingly sharp comments regarding Aunt Sandy and her admirer! Thanks for the good laugh!!!

At 2/28/2008 10:18 AM , Anonymous chiffonade said...

Shamdra is usually riding the coat tails of her beau, Andrew Cuomo, by appearing on Good Morning America opposite Chris Cuomo. I'd love to be in the Cuomo house when she tries to serve Mama Cuomo some of her instacrap. Can anyone say, "Get THE BELT!!!!"

At 3/11/2008 12:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

SHOCKED....and APPALLED!!!!! The chicken/champagne thingie looked okay, but that white sauce looked like a YEAST INFECTION!!!!!!


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