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Monday, December 8

Please Say I'm Not That Guy (Fieri)

Food Network's website has had this little interactive feature called "Are You That Guy?" up for a while now, where people post pictures or videos of themselves looking like Food Network always-on Guy Fieri.

Like Food Network says, "Guy's trademark bleached blond spiky hair, rough and tumble tats and distinct fashion sense isn't easy to replicate."

Well, I'll give you the "rough and tumble tats" but will not acknowledge any "distinct fashion sense." Most pics posted are just people (or a hedgehog, like someone put up) with bleached blond hair.

Please flatter me and say I'm not, or rather wasn't, "that Guy" back when I had my hair bleached.


Keep in mind that this was when I was barely 18 years old and frat dudes were getting their tips frosted. Compare that to today where Guy Fee-Eddie is, what, pushing 45 and still getting the dyejob? In 2008?

I understand that part of being a celebrity, for some, involves presenting yourself as something different or unattainable to the rest of the population. That's where the intrigue lies. Look at Christina Aguilera. She has the same ice-white blond hair that Guy does, but it still works for her. And she still manages to change it up from time to time.

Can Guy keep the bleaching up forever?

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25 Comments:

At 12/08/2008 1:46 PM , Anonymous Don K. said...

Did Anne Burrell submit a photo to this? She and Guy must have the same hairdresser. :-)

 
At 12/08/2008 2:20 PM , Anonymous sb said...

Too bad Gadzooks isn't still poppin'... Guy would be the perfect spokesmodel!

 
At 12/08/2008 2:20 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, seriously, that is one scary photo. Your skin looks so waxy it's like the Ace of Cakes crew created you.

 
At 12/08/2008 2:40 PM , Blogger Freddy said...

Cute Pic Jacob, I too bleached my hair during my 20's. There is definately a time and a place to keep doing it and past 30 is pushing it. But that is just my humble opinon.

 
At 12/08/2008 2:43 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is pretty funny. " rough and tumble tats and distinct fashion sense isn't easy to replicate." ?? Ugh ?

It is not hard to replicate it. It's part of his schtick. 43 yrs old guy trying to act 21. Talks like a reprobate from the Valley.

I am flabbergasted that nobody has called him out on his brutal dye job , especially when the roots are predominant.

Anybody who thinks this guy is a fashion plate is fuckin nuts.

 
At 12/08/2008 2:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

He's 40 going on 10 but I guess that's alot of guys. LOL. The sunglass thing on his new show drives me crazy because the show is indoors. It makes sense on DDD but not on his other shows.

 
At 12/08/2008 3:39 PM , Anonymous Alec Arse said...

I can't state my opinion without dropping an F-bomb.

 
At 12/08/2008 3:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jacob, you are WAY too fabulous to be mistaken for Guy. I like Guy, don't get me wrong -- well, I like him on DDD -- can't bring myself to watch "Off The Hook" -- don't need that much hyperness in my life.

Oh, and the Ina Garten Thanksgiving dessert special was so great I watched it twice!! You looked wonderful!

Christine :)

 
At 12/08/2008 4:39 PM , Anonymous brian said...

You look EXACTLY like Guy in that picture.

 
At 12/08/2008 4:40 PM , Blogger Syd said...

You're definitely not that Guy.

I don't mind his hair so much as I do the scraggly ass beard.

 
At 12/08/2008 5:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christina definitely rocks BUT i think her latest 'do sucks. it looks like a freakin wig.....maybe it is? it's like scary doll hair..
those bangs....blecccchhhhhh. BAD LOOK for her for sure.... i liked her hair better longer and more natural looking, dye job or not...
as for the pix, i don't want to slam anyone for their earlier choices in
stuff but guy definitely looked weird in those photos when he was a kid they showed on his special with his family...... dark dark dark hair and now THIS..... i think he should just shave his head and be done with the dye.
BTW his roots are SUPPOSE to show.... i also think Ann Burrell is Guy in drag, they just don't wanna out him that way.

 
At 12/08/2008 5:23 PM , Blogger marge twain said...

Don K- No, Anne Burrell looks more like Lisa Simpson, although not as much as CNN's Dana Bash.

 
At 12/08/2008 5:25 PM , Blogger marge twain said...

I'll flatter you, Jacob. You didn't spike out the sides, electrocution-style, like Guy does.

 
At 12/08/2008 5:30 PM , Blogger Schottzie03 said...

Someone needs to put up a picture of a rubber bag full of vinegar and water.

Its like there are a bunch of hobbling old nincompoops running around the food network, and one of the kids in the mailroom played a prank by giving them Guy's headshot and saying, "This is what cool youngsters look like nowadays."

He might not bleach forever, maybe he'll move from Swingers circa 1998 up to 2003, and start dressing like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.

 
At 12/08/2008 6:55 PM , Blogger Bridgett said...

I'm sorry, but I have a hard time watching or looking at that man without cringing.

 
At 12/08/2008 6:56 PM , Anonymous lana said...

LMAO !!

Fee-Eddie is 40. (41 in January.) I read somewhere that his hairdresser suggesting bleaching his hair, oh, some ten years ago. I think anything would be an improvement over the dark mullet, eh? He also said that he has hair dressers in NY, Chicago and two in CA who try to keep the dark roots at bay. omg

J, the only way you'd look like That Guy is if you put on some 80 lbs and sported the dark goatee. But the button-down and white undershirt does make you a bit Guy-ish! lol Cute.

 
At 12/08/2008 10:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Yall!!! You guys are crazy this GUY is Food Networks signature #1 popular chef. By the way he won the Chef Challenge. I like it when he yells like Paula and the Neeley's.

You will enjoy the shows better if you just drink half a bottle of wine first then turn on the Tele.

They should have a rating section of the chefs on their web site.

By the way Guy you better start loosing weight, your gonna start looking like Paula and Emeril.

 
At 12/08/2008 11:23 PM , Blogger Becca said...

Slap a goatee and some backwards sunglasses on that bad boy and it's money... Er, um, no you don't Guy (thank your lucky stars)

 
At 12/09/2008 4:39 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dear!

 
At 12/09/2008 9:59 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I like Guy the way he is. And what's wrong with Emeril. Paula? That's another story. ugh.

 
At 12/09/2008 11:00 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Emeril, I enjoy sometimes, but you don't want to gain the weight, it's unhealthy. He needs to lose a little, otherwise he may not be around much longer.
If he yelled like Paula, Guy, and the Neeley's then I would not watch his shows at all.

 
At 12/09/2008 11:10 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bah, I don't think Guy *needs* to lose weight - he's, what, just shy of 6 foot and some 210 - 220 lbs. Nothing like Batali, who seriously should be assigned his own zip code ....

 
At 12/10/2008 6:29 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think Guy should get as big as a cow and I think he should color his hair green and yell even loader like Billy Mays.
Mario, yes your right he needs a weight reduction, I guess I would be the same way eating all that great food it looks like he is making. I would like to sample it one day.

 
At 12/19/2008 11:32 AM , Anonymous Jeff said...

I think Tuschelson is grooming Guy(no pun intended)to be the next Emeril. He's hosting specials, his "Big Bite" series, his dream show, "...Off the Hook" and doing okay for himself. He has successfully followed Tyler Florence and Paula Deen into the wonderful world of compensated endorsements. Long may he and his spiked hair wave.

 
At 12/20/2008 4:56 PM , Blogger Hutch said...

Dude...don't worry. You have nothing to worry about, there is nobody that will mistake you for Guy Fieri. Bro...you are much too GAY looking. What is up with your skin? Did you actually fake bake or is that makeup? Don't you worry your pretty little head...nobody with get those CS lips misplaced

 

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