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Wednesday, January 14

Still Confused About What "Semi-Homemade" Means? Sandra Defines It For You!

I love this "definition" of Semi-homemade that greets you on Aunt Sandy's website for her upcoming magazine.

"Wherein" used twice! And who knew "beauty" and "fashion" were now included in the semi-homemade lineup? Perhaps the magazine will unlock those secrets.

Yes, the magazine.

I love the obvious jab at Rachael Ray that Sandra's been pulling for a few years now -- putting lines like "20-MINUTE MEALS" or "3.5 MINUTE MEALS" or "60-SECOND MEALS" on her cookbook covers, as if they'll somehow appear more desirable than the time-intensive 30-minute meals offered by Ms. Ray. Cute trick, Auntie S!

That being said, I cannot wait to get my hands on the first issue. How many of the "76 fast recipes" are devoted to cocktails, you think?

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At 1/14/2009 12:24 PM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

I am so shoplifting the premiere issue if I see it anywhere.

At 1/14/2009 2:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boy she gets airbrushed!

At 1/14/2009 2:48 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yea--I can't wait! I love Aunt Sandy!

At 1/14/2009 2:50 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am sick to death of ALL of these people.....pretty soon they will ALL have talk shows too....its too much. jesus christ. i long for a simpler time. way. i am sick of seeing these people everywhere. even the ones i like.
i am moving to Antarctica or something.
i need to get away.or they need to get away. from the cameras and magazines and radios and tvs. how much do they need? when is enough enough??

At 1/14/2009 3:18 PM , Blogger Andra said...

Can't you just hear the stock prices rising for Jell-O, Cool Whip and Campbell's condensed soup futures. Ka-ching.

At 1/14/2009 4:54 PM , Blogger Jim said...

Bottom Line:
Semi-Homemade = NOT Homemade.

At 1/14/2009 9:12 PM , Blogger Schottzie03 said...

Hope the magazine makes it for a full year so she'll have a Kwanza edition.

At 1/14/2009 11:21 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I know exactly what semi-ho made means: expensive, impractical, inedible food, along with excessive alcohol consumption and ridiculously overdone table daykor.

She definitely needs a talk show so that she, along with Retchel and Pauler, can expose herself as a dimwit to even more of the viewing public.

Sorry, guess it's obvious I am not a fan. I actually watch her show for the comedic value, but the thought of people actually watching for instruction and inspiration is depressing.

At 1/15/2009 8:21 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

no wonder all the recipies are quick- they are all cocktails theres no actual cooking involved !

At 1/15/2009 9:56 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Semi Homemade

1: Spending more time on the napkins, name tags and centerpieces than on the food you feed your family and guests.

2: Using overpriced, pre-chopped and already preparred food instead of spending 2 minutes to do anything yourself.

3: A pantry full of spice mix packets, liquor and canned ingredients.

At 1/15/2009 10:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

A pantry full of spice mix packets, liquor, and canned ingredients. Hey, after a day working with the idiots at my job, you could do worse.

I bet most of you snobs eat Kraft American cheese sandwiches for dinner when you're not slurping Progresso, zapping Stouffers or driving through Pollo Loco.

Leave Aunt Sandy alone!

At 1/15/2009 12:07 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I bet most of us don't. I don't eat american cheese period. Gross. No canned soups especially those gross creamed soups. I do use canned tomatoes and canned beans sometimes. No frozen dinners. I don't know what Pollo Loco is but that I might give a try. LOL.

I love Aunt Sandy just not her recipes. She could defend herself though. "Defenders" again worse that the "Haters" I tell you.

At 1/15/2009 12:13 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

"A pantry full of spice mix packets, liquor, and canned ingredients. Hey, after a day working with the idiots at my job, you could do worse. "

Actually, you couldn't. But have fun dying of hypertension, obesity, and cirrohsis of the liver. There'll be more REAL food for the rest of us to enjoy when people like you and "Sandy" eliminate yourselves from the face of the earths by virtue of your horrible diets.

At 1/15/2009 3:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watching that "Chefography" of the Food Network showed that hiring RR, who was brought on (in Tuschwipe's opinion) to give an alternative to the "gourmet" cooks on the channel, really started the downward trend of the people on the air. RR, then Paul Deen, then Sandra Lee. They got away from people who had actual culinary educations and went for people who made "simple" means. The one exception was Ina, who got hired around the same time. The trend continues with Aaron and Sunny Anderson (who I actually do like quite a bit).

At 1/15/2009 4:11 PM , Anonymous Alec Smart said...

If the trend downward continues with Aaron and Sunny Anderson, exactly where does it stop ?

Hotdog or street vendors can get a show ? How about somebody who doesn't know how to cook at all ? They could film a show outlining someone who can't fry an egg or make toast . That would make riveting TV don't you think ?

At 1/15/2009 9:54 PM , Blogger Charles said...

Hotdog or street vendors can get a show ?

LOL! That's hot I like that, Alec! Prob won't be before long though! Seriously, RR is the best thing on FN for real. She doesn't use spice packets, she uses all fresh veggies and meats and herbs, and the only help she takes from the store are canned beans and tomatoes. Ina does too. I don't think RR was the spiral effect of the crappy new stuff like Sunny and Aida. Sunny reproduces food RR has already made like 3 years ago and did it better! Puh-leez bitch! And Aunt Sandy uses butter imitation in some of her cupcake mixes ewwww

At 1/16/2009 8:50 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the Drunk Aunt Sandy apologists. Keep on trying. Don't get me started on RR. Never a more annoying less talented person (for lack of a more colorful word) who's famous for all the wrong reasons. She revels in her lack of talent. You could make real decent food in the time it takes her to make her "30 minute mess pies". How many variations on skillet meals, burgers, cutlets can you do? No thanks.

At 1/16/2009 9:06 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aaron and Sunny are the worst. Give me Aunt Sandy any day if I HAVE to make a choice. Don't watch her show because I don't like her recipes.

Alex just got a show and there's no cooking. You know FN went the route of MTV.

I love my cocktails though-yay Sandy.


At 1/21/2009 5:27 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why wold you think her food would be real when nothing on her face is real

At 1/26/2009 7:02 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wont buy it ...ever...just cancel the show and get over it...so yesterday is she


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