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Monday, June 25


Y'all already know what happened last night, and if not check out the site on Food Network for more info.

The gang heads down to Fort Dix to jazz up the standard MREs-- the Meals Ready to Eat that my buddy Dave Lieberman first taught us about back on Dave Does.

Ummm... no comment. Eat up, boys.

JAG and Adrien both failed. Adrien sucked on taste and JAG lost on the presentation.

Also, Michael slipped up during his demo by referring to a MRE as an "MRI"-- effectively showing he cannot remember nicknames or acronyms ("Chocolate Passion" from last week). Also, who wants to hear about MRIs on Food Network? Take yourself to Discovery Health, salmon cake.

Paul won the initial challenge and got to pick the teams and dishes for the next one.

I love the reactions that judges Bob Tuschman and Susie Fogelson (TUSCHELSON) are givin' these days! Honorable mention goes to guest judge Giada De Laurentiis who, once again, turned up the fire. Paula Deen showed up for a minute but didn't judge. She has a book to promote, you know.

Amy and Rory gave a good presentation with their military-inspired order shouting, while pretty much everyone else went with the frenetic or just plain downer approach (i.e.-- don't bring up Vietnam, Mike).

Giada brings up the idea that, as a former Marine, this challenge should have been easy for JAG. In actuality, it turned ugly for him. Could it be because he was worried that a story like this one might come out?

Everyone got to crying in this episode. JAG, Amy, Rory and Michael all shed some tears.

In the end, Michael Salmon gets sent home. Adrien gets to stay, only after Susie asks to "see some jackass" from him.

So tune in next week for Adrien making a complete jackass of himself!


Check out the "After the Elimination" video on the FN site. Paul mentions to Adrien that he thinks they are "physically similar" and that that threatens him. Ummm.... not so sure about that, Paul.

Anyhow, I think Amy is gone next week. Her stressing and crying about 'what's public and what's private" should have been thought about BEFORE applying for a reality show in which your likeness is owned and may be disseminated on television and/or all media now known or hereafter devised, in any and all manner throughout the Universe in perpetuity.

It was in the contract!

And Adrien better kick it into high gear, because so far he's crafting a show that involves him staring into the camera and showing us how to spike the perfect fauxhawk.

Ugh... it's 9 p.m. I gotta go running and think about something else. Night night!

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At 6/26/2007 9:25 AM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

I was frankly amazed by how much less engaged I was in the show now that I don't have Colombe's perpetual bitch face to obsess over.

Anyway, they should have cast better chicks this season. No way either Amy or Rory can win, so TNFNS will end up with it's fourth male (and probably white male) winner in four seasons. Way to bring the diversity, folks.

At 6/26/2007 10:00 AM , Blogger RD said...

About the MRE challenge: I thought that Amy's looked like the nastiest pile of mush. I was surprised when she didn't "lose" for presentation.

And the less said about diversity on the Food Network, the better. I cannot wait until Simply Delicioso finally airs.

At 6/26/2007 2:30 PM , Anonymous Jeff said...

Thank you, jordanbaker...I thought Amy and Rory, et. al., were women...not "chicks." I thought it highly unusual that Michael, Amy, and JAG were crying...Michael comes from a food service background, JAG is supposedly a leatherneck thru and thru, and Amy, being a housewife, has had tougher things than this to face on a daily basis. I wouldn't give up on Rory. Maybe jordanbaker wasn't watching the June 17 show...and please check my post re: same...I wasn't too thrilled with her choice of attire...but he would have been.

At 6/26/2007 6:35 PM , Anonymous Conrad5 said...

Were they auditioning for the next Food Network crybaby? This show is getting awkward and manipulative in a creepy sort of way. Of all the contestants, I think Adrien is the most skilled and charismatic, but I don’t think he’ll win. He’s too much like Tyler Florence, Marc Summers, and Dave Lieberman…just another affable, handsome, Caucasian male, serving up inoffensive fare.

I have a suspicion, indeed a fear, that JAG is the chosen one. It’s not so much about diversity as it is good bidness. There’s no high profile person managing the Latin cuisine portfolio at the FN right now. That’s a huge segment of the population to neglect. Sure, JAG’s history is checkered, but the military is sure to keep any details of his suspicious departure confidential, for fear of litigation over torpedoing his burgeoning (in his mind) television career. If he can obscure his past enough, he may actually end up winning. Because of that crying episode, he’s become far less threatening to the judges.

In the first episode, Bob Tuschman looked slightly fearful of JAG…almost as if he was afraid that JAG might boost his A8 from the FN parking garage-and then kick Bob’s ass, just on general principle. Now Tuschelson (cool name!) appear to have warmed to him. Ugh! Time for JAG to call Guy Fieri’s agent.

At 6/26/2007 10:52 PM , Blogger The Sassy Editorialist said...

I loved how JAG said that he spent a lot of time on ARMY bases during his time in the MARINES. Um, not likely (although it is possible, there are Marines here on Ft. Bragg, NC). Maybe naval bases since the Marines are an off-shoot of the Navy. Oh and the smell of weapon cleaner made him tear up from the memories? WTF ever! The stuff used to clean military weapons smells just like the stuff you clean personal handguns with. I can't stand this tool. If he wins, I swear I will NEVER watch FN again, not that it matters because I'm not a Nielsen household.

I thought it classic that Salmon, the most genuine seeming to me (other than Adrien) was told he was ingenuine.

Cry me a river...good lord, please dry up the damn tears! This season really blows, I can't even believe I keep watching it.

Rory--I know this is mean, but it's oh-so-true. Anyone think of the classic TV line, 'Hello Wiiiiilbur!' when they see her?

Amy--Yes, if she is a sahm like she says she is, these challenges should be a piece of cake compared to days on end with little to no adult interaction. I bet she's the type of sahm with a nanny and housekeeper and lots of play dates for lil johnny.

As of now, Adrien is my fav. Paul started as my fav but there is just something about him that is totally irritating, although I can't 100% place it.

At 6/27/2007 12:23 AM , Anonymous mundane said...

watch your language please.

At 6/27/2007 12:30 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I happen to know for a fact Amy does not have a housekeeper or a nanny.

At 6/27/2007 8:15 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are there two ways to pronounce "chipotle"? because JAG keeps saying it "chi-pole-tay" and it's driving me nuts! am i wrong? -malice

At 6/27/2007 8:47 AM , Blogger jacob said...

jordan: that's what i fear, too. maybe do a surprise return of Reggie?

rd: yo tambien.

jeff: ummm... do you think jordan is a guy?

conrad: yeah, i'm thinking JAG is going to be in the final two. It'll depend on Adrien's performance next week if he'll be there, as well.

sassy: good points all around. paul is good for the show, but not his own show.

mundane: noted.

anon: Amy? Is that you? ;-)

anon2: just don't try to get Paula to say it.

At 6/27/2007 9:24 AM , Blogger JordanBaker said...

I would love it if Reggie came back in the next episode, just like New York in Season 2 of Flavor of Love.

And thanks for pointing out to Jeff that I am, in fact, not a dude.

And yes, Jeff, Rory and Amy are chicks, not women. Women would comport themselves better.

At 6/27/2007 10:55 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, Anon is not Amy, just someone who knows her very well. You guys are totally off base about her. She is with her kids 24 hours a day and does all her own housework. She is one of the most grounded, nice, compassionate people I know. I am sick of you guys bashing her, you have "known" her for only a few hours, and an edited version at that. Maybe take a moment to think about that next time you want to say something mean about any of these contestants.

At 6/27/2007 11:09 AM , Blogger jacob said...

I think the people who are commenting about Amy or any of the contestants realize that what they see is an edited version. I, personally, could care less if she's with her kids or does her own cleaning; that's not what the show is about. Still, its the nature of these shows to garner personal comments (and personal attacks). Look at Rachael Ray. People attack her personally all the time and they've "known her" for years.

At 6/27/2007 11:21 AM , Blogger The Sassy Editorialist said...

Everyone on FN pronounces 'chipotle' incorrectly. It should be pronounced chi-poht-ley, not chi-pol-tey as they all do. It's been driving me crazy for about a year now.

And as for Amy, I don't really care what kind of mom or person she is, I just find it 'funny' that she's boohooing over this and how 'hard' it is. If you place yourself in the public sector, you know you're opening yourself to ridicule and praise alike. However, if you're such a great friend of Amy's, why do you need to post anon on random message boards? You know Amy and the Pope is coming to my house for Sunday lunch.

At 6/27/2007 1:11 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sassy - Why do you have to be so snarky to everyone? Ever heard of being tactful?

At 6/27/2007 2:18 PM , Anonymous Anon1 said...

Sassy - Don't be so jealous Amy is not your friend. She would never have a shallow friend like you. I don't post on "random message boards". I only posted on this one because I was upset someone was commenting on Amy's parenting skills. I agree that they don't mean squat on the show. I guess you wouldn't defend any of your friends. Have fun at your Sunday lunch!

At 6/27/2007 3:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sassy...you really are a nasty jerk.

At 6/28/2007 3:05 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anywayzzzz, by the time I read all these comments I forgot what I was commenting on - looks like everyone got stuck on Amy toward the end. The bottom line is, this whole group stinks. What is the deal with everyone crying-my gawd! I agree with diversity. It seems to me this network is so white bread and exposing Giada's cleavage is such a lazy way of getting ratings. Has FN become so uncreative that they can't put together decent programming? These ya-hoos aren't going to cut the mustard.

At 6/29/2007 10:30 AM , Blogger Noah said...

i finally saw the episode last night. All the crying at the end was really painful. and not in a good way.


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